Mental Breakdown?
by ShaDeau4
Summary: Peter dies, in the place of Tris. Not knowing what actually happened, wanted to know so badly why Peter saved her, well, not for the first time. Caleb found Peter's hidden journal and she proceeds to read it, to know more about the boy she hated once. Things don't usually work out the way we hoped it'd be, would it? Quite a shock for the ending. Not much about Peter though.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: THE BIG SACRIFICE

I never thought I'd be sacrificing myself for yet another person. But here I am, about to take a bullet for Tobias. Everything was in a blur. It came so fast. Afraid to look, I closed my eyes. I expected a searing pain spreading to every part of my body, but instead, I feel nothing. I open my eyes slowly, afraid of what I might see. I saw the fallen body of Nita. Relieved someone else shot her before she could get me, I started to move forward but my foot hit the side of something squashy. A body. I froze. I tried to hide a scream as I saw the rumpled body of someone I once hate, the body of Peter. I can't move. A few days back, I would be delighted to find him dead. But now that's real, I don't know what I should feel. Disgusted or sad? Seriously Tris, don't you have any humanity left in you? Tears swim in my eyes, I wouldn't cry for him, I shouldn't, after what he did to me all this time. But I couldn't stop the tears and it came rushing down my cheeks. Tobias was holding me tightly in his arms and whispering that it wasn't my fault. I didn't kill him.

"Why would he do that? What was he thinking?" my voice came cracked, not the way I wanted it to sound like.

"Maybe he was trying to…protect you?" Tobias' replied with uncertainty. Why on Earth would he want to protect me? Right, because trying to throw me into the chasm shows that he truly cares. I struggled hard not to think of the past, I shouldn't be saying bad things about someone who just died. Especially when that person died shielding me. Mom and Dad won't be all that pleased if they find out I let someone else die instead of me. The thought makes me want to cry harder for disappointing them.

I walked into the dormitory to find Caleb sitting on Peter's bed. Just looking at Peter's bed makes the image of his rumpled body on the floor swimming before me. I have forgiven Caleb for quite some time, knowing that it wasn't his fault. What kind of younger sister am I if I keep on ignoring him for his genes? I walked towards him, careful not to look at the picture by the bedside table; a picture of Peter when he was a toddler, along with his family. Now that I thought of it, Peter looks a lot like his mother. I choked on a sob.

"Hey, you okay?" Caleb asked, looking up at me.

"I'm fine." I lie easily, I'm not fit to be in Candor, it's what my friends always say.

Caleb looked around the room. After discovering that we were the only ones in there, he pulled me close and said in a low voice, "Look what I found?"

I looked at his hand, reaching under Peter's pillow. He brought his hands back a second later, revealing a flat piece of silvery metal. I must have put on a stupid look because he began to laugh. "This is no ordinary metal," he started to say. He tapped it in certain places and the metal transformed into a book. "Is that his.."

"As a matter of fact, it is" Caleb answered my unfinished question. He was pacing back and forth now. Seeing the questioning look on my face, he added, "After, you know… Peter got shot, I searched for my notebook he borrowed before but I came across this. I looked at it closely and saw his fingerprints and I began to tap at those places and this…thing, turned into some sort of journal. But I don't want to mess with people's belongings, so I just left it where I found it."

I know this sounds weird, but I would like to read his thoughts. That's not a very nice thing to do but since he's…gone, he can't do anything about it. And so I opened it with Caleb peering over my shoulder.

"As you probably know, I am not one who writes his personal thoughts on some kind of crap book but since it's disguised as nothing more than a metal, I agree to do it; mostly because of my pushy parents. They wanted me to write about the school, and continue writing until I finished initiation. The Choosing Ceremony is in another two days and I've been wondering about what my tester said: about me fitting into Dauntless more than Candor. That's not even possible. Everyone said I'm the most candor-ish person that ever existed in the city! But seems like they're wrong. I keep thinking about it over and over again. How I would explain to my parents, about changing into another faction. I bet myself 99% they would be so shocked tomorrow they're faces would turn red; I sure think because they're going to get angry."

Caleb and I exchanged a look. We both don't really want to know about his daily or personal life and so we skipped to the important parts. The next is: The Choosing Ceremony. I sure don't know how he could find the time to write in his journal with everyone crowded everywhere.

"Today's the day. The day my parents know that I belong in another faction. The day they are ashamed of me, for leaving my faction, leaving them, behind. Just as I predicted, their faces were red. Embarrassment or anger, I can't tell. The Dauntless initiates perform their first act of dauntlessness by jumping onto a moving train. That one was pretty easy actually. Since I've watched them jump millions of times through the windows at school. When the train slowed down, we had to jump onto a roof. Not all of us made it, though. I made some friends. The ones who made it were Candors, Erudites, Dauntless (of course since they've done it a million times) and just one tiny, little stiff. I could tell she was a stiff, even if she hadn't been wearing their grey uniforms because of the plain, unselfishness look on her face. I wouldn't have thought she was 16 if she hadn't been here with us. I….."

I shut the book very hard, making Caleb jump in surprise. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Like you weren't reading it," I shot at him. I decided to read it some other time. I am not surprised he thought I was a pure stiff. Maybe I still am. Caleb wore an expression of shock for such a brief moment I was wondering if I had imagined it. He cleared his throat and said something about going to the lab to see Matthew and left me alone, thinking about the stupid words that dead guy wrote about me. Maybe I should read it with Tobias, I thought and put the book safely under my mattress.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2: The Confession

I knew I shouldn't ask Tobias to read the journal with me, in case it brings back the memory of me nearly getting killed taking a bullet for him. But when I asked him to help me go through it, he was more than happy. We went back to the dormitory after lunch. I cuddled up next to him and began tapping at the spots Caleb showed me yesterday. The piece of metal thickened itself forming the journal I read yesterday. I wanted to continue where I stopped yesterday but since Tobias wasn't with me, he doesn't know what it was about. I tried to explain to him but I always end up staring into space until Tobias snaps his fingers. After Tobias read the ones I've read, we continued where I left off…

"It wouldn't occur to me that she was 16 at the time. I looked at her face. She's so… unique? Special? Not quite pretty but she has the look of innocence that completely made me falling for her? I haven't thought much about falling in love with anyone and I don't really know how I'd feel. I just assumed I'd feel this way. I started asking for advice from Drew and guess what? He said girls love bad boys and so I tried to be one, not that its hard since I am one.

She has a lot more courage than I expected from a Stiff. She was the first to jump from the edge of the roof. I have to admit, I was a bit surprised but judging by the way she dress, I don't think she'll make it through initiation. Molly and Drew wouldn't stop talking nonsense about her. Although she's a little bit shorter than average, I like her just the way she is. Just then, Max called my name. Apparently I was next in line and I felt my cheeks burn red for letting myself get caught daydreaming. I tried hard not to think of heights. Many people would assume since we're born dauntless, we're not afraid of anything."

I shut the journal slowly. Tobias was wearing a precious expression of what I can't quite make sense of. _No, that doesn't mean he likes me_, I told myself. I really think there's something more he's hiding. Besides, his journal is as thick as my history textbook and it must've been a torture having to write everything down every day, for the sake of your parents. He's an obedient child, that's good to know. At least, someone will grieve for him, or maybe not.

For half an hour, Tobias and I just stared at the opposite wall, trying to make sense out of it. Well, problem is, it doesn't. I don't trust him. He must've known one day I'd read it and decided to play a prank on me, even if he is dead. I tried to imagine him laughing in his grave but I can't, since we haven't buried him yet and I'd be awake all night seeing his dead face laughing. I shuddered. Tobias must have noticed coz he took a blanket and wrapped it around me, which at least, keeps me warm.

I never should have trusted my instincts; in this case which is reading someone else's journal. And not just any journal, its Peter's. But on other cases, my instincts are always right. I suppressed a smile, thinking how stupid of me to be even debating about this. What has gotten into you, Tris? Slowly I looked at Tobias, afraid he'll catch me looking at him. But he was already watching me, a smile creeping on his face. He pulled me in for a kiss.

After what seemed like hours, we finally pulled apart. But the playful smile playing on his lips makes me want him more. We have a few more hours before sunset and I wouldn't want to read in the dark. I guess Tobias caught the look of my face because he took the journal from me and began to read again. Skipping to the more important parts.

"Tris. Tris. Tris. She was in my fear landscape. I was trying to prepare myself for the next fear and I saw her, lying on her back on a pool of blood. I didn't know what to do and I panicked. I was folding my hands into fists, unsure of what to do to try and save her. Instead of my fingers curling against my palm, they curled into something sharp. I looked at my hands and took in the surroundings. My worst fears were that of me killing her without meaning to. I'm a monster. I couldn't stand it anymore, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor, sobbing. Ignoring the dauntless leader present with me. Luckily, it was Max. He would've understand. I doubt Four would even let me think of her. He's overprotective, even if he doesn't have to. It's like he doesn't believe in her, but I do.

Max put his hands on my shoulder but I shoved it off. As much as I want someone to comfort me, I don't want it to be one of the Dauntless Leaders or I'll be seen as a weak person and I'm not. Soon after I rid any evidence showing I've been crying, Eric burst through the doors and went straight for me. "I know what you want. You don't have to play the baddie to get the girl, you're already one. And she won't like you, anyways, as long as Four's still alive. Don't waste your time chasing a girl who is 100% sure she won't like you back. I know how it feels, I've been through one," Eric said. The tone he used wasn't the one when he's angry, or the ones used to order us what to do, I really think there was a note of sympathy. I wanted to ask him how he got over it, but he was gone before I could even register the whole thing."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I honestly didn't know what I expected from the metal thingy. Some hint of feeling guilty? A confession? Oh, I got a confession alright, not the one I was hoping. But the words that came after me weren't the ones of the boy who at least had some feelings, the words were rougher, harsher. "Guess what? I haven't written this and I'm proud to admit that I stabbed Edward's eye in the middle of the night. Others say it's a sign of cowardice. I don't care what they think. For me, it was an act of bravery. They want me to be a Dauntless eh? I'll be one, just like Eric. Maybe even better, not like that soft hearted instructor, Four."

At this point, I'm pretty sure I'm…pissed. Great, I changed him into a crueller monster? Yeah, really nice Tris. I couldn't look at Tobias, so I leaned my slowly into his shoulder. The smell of him is so.. comforting. I just couldn't read it anymore, but I already started so I might as well finish it.

I woke up early, at dawn. Tobias was so peaceful when he's asleep. "I love you" I whispered. Tobias smiled. He opened his eyes. "I love you too. Up so early, beautiful?" he chuckled. I blushed. "I was kind of hoping, you know.. we could take a walk somewhere."

"Yeap, let's go," he said, bouncing off the bed. He took my hand and dragged me out. The corridors are getting crowded by the hour. I didn't know where I wanted to go. Just then, David walked towards us. Tobias' hand tightened around mine. "We're scattering Peter's ashes today," he said. "We're not going," Tobias replied. "Yes, we are," I muttered. Tobias looked at me, a look of disbelief. "Just give us a sec," he told David while still looking at me. "Are you crazy? What happened to him being an a-hole?" he asked. I don't want to look at him. I can't stand being scolded. So I stared at my feet, shifting weights occasionally. "Don't tell me you're falling for this guy!" he said, voice rising. "I'm not!" I shouted. "You know I'm not going to love anyone as much as I love you." Tears are gathering now. I tried to suck them back in but it didn't work. One by one, the tears fall. Tobias looked at me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said. He looks as if he's going to cry. I don't want him to. "No, its okay." I smiled. David was tapping his foot, a sign of impatience. "Are you going or not?" he asked. Sick of all the dramas I assume. "Yes we are," Tobias said firmly. We walked together in silence.

Okay, I immediately regretted going to see Peter. The feeling of hatred rose up inside of me. Calm down, Tris. He's not going to do anything, not that he can but you get the picture. I think Tobias feels the same way. We watched them burn him to ashes and David put the ashes in a plain urn. I can't help but wonder if he's family is actually missing him. Not long after that, David led us outside and opened the lid. The wind was blowing hard, just by opening the lid, the contents were immediately blown into the empty space, leaving nothing behind. That's it I think. We had breakfast a little late today, it was nearly lunchtime, but there are no rules telling us not to eat breakfast at lunchtime, does it? It was a good time, until we walked back inside and saw the stupid journal. I groaned. Tobias scowled. Looks like we're not ready. But there's something pulling us towards it, some sort of magnet. With a sigh, we sat near the window and began reading. "I feel so awful. Tris won't forgive me because of that time I tried to kill her. But she's still alive. So what did I do wrong?"

Oh aside the fact that you tried to kill me, Genius, I muttered. Tobias chuckled.

"Yeah, I know I tried to kill you but look, I saved you not for the first time you know." I read the next line. Hold up! Okay, this is getting weird. Is this book talking to me? Tobias was having the same look. I flipped through the pages, they were actually BLANK! This is freaky. What does this have anything to do with me?

"Oh, it's all about you Tris," the words appeared out of nowhere. I swear to god, that if you're trying to scare me, it worked. I heard Peter chuckle, somewhere.

"Oh, Tris Tris Tris. I'm going to get you. I was freaked out beyond words. Tobias snatched the book away from me and threw it hard at the wall. It left a dent in the wall, but the journal was perfectly fine. We ran outside towards Matthew's lab. There, he was still behind the computer leaning too close to the screen. He looked up. "How may I help you?" he asked, smiling. "We were going to ask about some sort of metal journal?" "Oh yes, I've read it before a few days ago. Funny, how do you know about it? Matthew asked, curious. "Um. It so happens that I got my hands on one." My voice was barely a whisper. Matthew's eyes were wide. "Are you serious? These things are hard to get. Rumours are said that this metal journal, meternal, they call it, is a connection to the other side," he said. "The other side?" I asked.

"Yes, to the ones that are dead. They say the spirit can linger on that thing so it can communicate without a body, just that thing between what's living and what's dead," Matthew explained. "Does this mean… that.. that… Peter's alive?" I asked, catching my breath. Tobias' hand is steadying me. It's the only thing holding me from falling. "Not so alive, I should say. But a part of him is there. He can't come back to life though. Just to talk to someone who's no fun at the other side," he joked. "Huh," I tried to think of it as something funny. But it's not.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

That night, I tried to sleep. But Peter is always cooing and saying stupid things. I've locked the stupid

meternal but he's still bothering me. It was very unfortunate for Tobias and I since we're the only

ones disturbed by it. We shut our ears with layers of blankets and fell asleep like that, looking

ridiculous.

The next day we woke up tired. It wasn't a peaceful night, it was very disturbing. I couldn't take it

anymore! As soon as I sat up, I took a quick shower before dashing to the library, not even bothering

to know where Tobias is. Turns out he's way ahead of me. "Hey sunshine! Up so early?" Tobias

teased. "Ha Ha. You didn't tell me you were coming here," I said. "Well, you didn't either. We're

even," he chuckled.

"So, what are you looking for?" I asked innocently. "You know, something to make Peter go away."

Tobias made an act of waving off invisible flies. I laughed. Nothing's better than starting a day with

my silly boyfriend. I pulled his collar and our lips touched. It was a long time until I heard a familiar

laugh. I groaned and pulled away from Tobias. For a second, he looked confused, then he heard the

idiot's laugh. "Did you bring it here?" I ask Tobias, a little too harshly I might say. "No," he said. "I

thought you…" "Well, apparently it's not me," I replied.

"You guys are such idiots, have you ever thought since I can communicate through the meternal I

can move around also?" Peter laughed. "This has gone too far Peter!" I yelled, trying hard to find the

metal. "I'm at the desk, genius," he said. I stormed to the desk and picked it up. I flipped the pages

until I find a blank page and started writing. "GO AWAY PETER" I wrote in capital letters. "Not going

to," he shot back. I could hear him in a sing-song voice. I was frustrated. I tried to tear the page but it

cut me. Blood was dripping from my fingers, even a long slash appeared on my palm. _Just great, _I

thought. "Four, do you have a bandage or something?" I asked. Tobias saw my hand, and the little

pool of blood it made on the floor. His eyes were wide as he ran to me. "It's okay, I'm fine," I smiled

to Tobias. But it stings, it hurts so much! "No, you're not," he said. "You're losing a lot of blood, can

you see me?" All of a sudden everything became too blurry. I tried hard to focus but the last thing I

saw was Tobias and then I was overcome by darkness.

I awoke to the sound of beeps and noisy machines. I still can't get used to this modern place. I looked around the room, and spotted Tobias dozing off in a chair in the corner. I tried to sit up silently, but he heard me. He shot up and rushed towards me, steadying my back. All I wanted was for him to kiss me. He kissed me on the forehead, slowly. "How long have I been out?" I asked. "Not long, around 4 days," he said. "Some strong girl you are," Tobias joked. I punched him in the shoulder. It hurts for me, not for him though. I bet he didn't feel anything. "Tris?"

I scowled. I forgot all about Peter. Tobias tensed. "What do you want?"

"I… I'm so sorry. Can I talk to you?" Peter whispered. I looked at Tobias. I don't think he heard Peter.

I made up an excuse to be alone although I don't want to. "Tobyyy, can you look for Caleb please?" I

asked sweetly. He raised an eyebrow. "So I'm Toby now? What did the doctor give you?" he shook

his head and walked outside. "Out with it."

Peter was sobbing. "I'm sorry Tris. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to annoy you or anything.

Love makes people do crazy things and I'm afraid that's what it's doing to me. I am so sorry. I'll stop

bothering you, I will. I swear. By tomorrow you won't hear a word from me. Nor you will ever see

the stupid metal thingy as you call it. I just want you to know that…" Peter stopped as we heard

footsteps. Tobias and Caleb, no doubt. Peter whispered in my ear, "I want you to know that I've

loved you and will always do. When the meternal disappear, so will my memory as I'm told so do me

a favour and don't go looking for it. You'd be in big trouble if you do."

And he was gone by the time Tobias opened the door.

"What did he say?" Tobias asked. No point in hiding it from him, I thought. "He said he's going to

stop bothering us." I stared blankly at the wall. Caleb was puzzled. "So... What did you want to talk

to me about?" Caleb asked. "Uhm, can you explain more about it?" I asked. "About the journal I

found? Well yeah, these meternals are so rare, and could only be opened if the owner wants it to be

opened. Seems like Peter wanted us to open it. Or you, specifically speaking. Have you ever

wondered how these things are connected with us? Well, I read somewhere that…" I tuned him

out, it was so boring. He kept on explaining for half an hour. I didn't think he was ever going to stop.

Tobias snapped his finger. "Are you paying attention? Did you hear what he just said?" Tobias asked.

"Wh.. What?" I asked. "I said that once the owner left the meternal, we could use it to communicate

with others. But those are just myths, like the owner's ever going to leave," Caleb said. "Wait, do

you mean… Tris, this is good! Let's find the meternal, you could talk to your parents!" Tobias said

excitedly. I, too, was excited until I remember what Peter said. "Don't go looking for it," Peter's

words echoed. 'What does he know about it?' I thought. But my instincts are holding me back from

saying yes. Something's going to go wrong. I know he doesn't know anything about it, but so do I.

"Tris?" Caleb and Tobias said together, watching me anxiously. "You look sick," Caleb said. "I'll call

the doctor," Tobias continued. I was, feeling a bit sick, but no way am I going to let the doctor give

me anything again. "I'm fine, actually," I winced. Tobias saw it. An evil smile spread across his face.

He pushed me back onto the bed and started kissing me, until I heard the beep of the buzzer, the

one to call the doctor. Tobias pressed the button.

"Seriously Tobias?" I asked, staring daggers at him. He just chuckled. "It's for your own good," he

smiled as the doctor pushed him away and inject me. I started to feel dizzy and fell into a deep sleep,

again.

**I'm sorry if it's too cheesy or anything. Let me know when you want another chapter posted. Love you guys who reviewed! Xoxo, Shadeau4 **


	5. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

**I'm sorry for those who are confused because I didn't write the introduction properly. So in case you want to know, continue reading. If not, you can skip to the next chapter which will be uploaded soon enough.**

**Proper Intro**

Tris' POV

Tobias and I are having a good time at the bureau. Everything was going well until we met Nita. She was pretty but I don't think Tobias is going to fall for her, not soon anyways. I was proved wrong. Tobias started meeting with Nita secretly and won't tell me what they were doing. But he says he still loves me  
and he always will. That was probably enough for me to know for the time being.

The next day, I found Tobias wild eyed, walking in the dormitory. He was looking exhausted. I didn't want to jump straight away to anything, I just let himself calm down a bit. Several minutes later, he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him.

"Something terrible has happened," he began. And launched into his story, telling me that all this time Nita has been planning on getting revenge. She was so mad at the bureau and has asked me and a couple other guys who disagree with the system to help her destroy the program once and for all. He didn't agree to this, obviously. And this was supposed to be a secret. "Don't tell anyone," Tobias finished. Every once in a while, he would look back, searching if there was anyone.

I put my hands on his warm cheek. "It's okay Tobias. You can trust me," I said calmly. He smiled. "I know I can," he replied, relaxing a little. At that, he took my hand and wandered around the compound together. I didn't know how, but we suddenly ended in a white room with just a door. I looked around and saw Nita leaning against the wall next to the door.

There wasn't any time, she just took out her pistol. Tobias saw the look on my face and turned as well. Nita blindly pulled the trigger. It happened fast, suddenly I was standing in front of Tobias, shielding him from the bullet but another body is protecting me from it. Peter. I didn't even know where he came from, just that he saved me. Tobias sent a bullet right through Nita's head and that was the end of it.

**So, there's that **** I'm sorry, it's not quite the intro I bet you were expecting. Let me know if you want something else fixed. With love, Shadeau4. Oh, and shout outs to the ones who reviewed; ehrmahgehrddahvehrgehrnt, Lol, Thoserunningfangirls, Just That Random Kid and mamamiller99. And to those who are reading this right now, I still love you guys! **


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Tobias is always saying that I'm stubborn. This might actually be the greatest evidence showing I am: I'm going to look for the meternal Peter hid. Tobias was definitely going to help me search for it. He said it's like we're going on a treasure hunt! Except that this treasure might not give us anything good in return. But I'm so desperate to talk one last time with my mom and dad, maybe with Edith Prior also, to know the history of the factions and the city.

We spent hours wandering along the corridors, occasionally listening for some sign of Peter, but he's gone, as he promised. I was getting tired and it was nearly lunch time, so we decided to have a break.

While I was eating my mashed potatoes, it hit me. Peter was always hanging out at the library, here at the bureau. I palmed my forehead, why was I so stupid? "But I'm not finished," Tobias protested as I pulled him out through the doors. Several deserted corridors up ahead is the place I sure hope Peter put the meternal. Before I walked through the doors of the library, I prayed. Not that there's going to be a difference, but out of habit.

I walked nervously into the library and I hope it's there, so it's worth leaving me and Tobias' lunch unfinished. I walked around, checking each shelf and finally came across the metal. It felt familiar when I touched it. Someone taped a single sheet of paper at the front, Peter probably. It said 'Don't say I didn't warn you.'

He should know better than hiding it at the most obvious place. As if. Before I could unlock it, Tobias put his hand on me, it was very comforting. "Don't" he whispered. "I have a bad feeling."

"Well, so do I," I shot back, glaring at him. How could he team up with Peter against me? Me being stubborn, I held the metal possessively and tried to open it. I was on the floor the nest second, a hand holding the meternal out of my reach. Tobias was pinning me down, more like the instructor Four than my lovely Tobias. "Let me go," I thrashed around. "Not until you swear you're not going to open it," he said. I screamed so loud, I hope the guards find me here. But Tobias just covered my mouth. "Don't make me kiss you," he smiled. If this was a different situation, I would let him. But this is definitely war. I slapped him hard and pushed him off. His face was red, not angry but upset.

I wanted to apologize but the book is already in my hand and it would be better if I use it now. I opened it slowly and there were instructions written on the first page.

1. You opened this, and you will not go back.

2. Think of that person you want to communicate with.

3. Say the name out loud, along with the word 'I want to talk to you'

4. Enjoy

Written at the very bottom is the word WARNING and other words but I don't bother reading it. First, I said my parents' name out loud. Then Tobias knocked me down. Caleb suddenly burst through the doors, screaming my name and telling me to stop. "No! Tris, stop!" Tobias yelled. I said the next words and suddenly there was silence. Tobias and Caleb are gone.

"No, no, no! What have I done?" I ran my fingers through my hair, looking at the stupid metal on the floor, looking harmless. My mind is blank. Why did I have to listen to my stubborn self? Just then, I heard my mother's voice. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" I turned around and saw her. I ran towards her and hugged her, but I felt nothing. Just the air, but she's there in front of me. A bit transparent but other than that, she looked perfectly fine, normal. Next to her is my dad, smiling.

Something's definitely wrong. "Nothing's wrong dear," my dad said. "Oh, no. Everything's wrong. First of all, you've never called me dear. Second, Tobias and Caleb are gone, just as you two appeared. Third, why are you guys acting like this? It's weird. I was warned, that something bad would happen. I…." I stopped. That was when I realized what would happen if I used the meternal to bring back the dead; They will replace the ones who are living. In my case, the only ones in the room: Caleb and Tobias. I dropped to my knees, I could just hear Peter saying 'I told you so'. I covered my face with my hands, crying soundlessly. At least I have my parents. Why would you even think that, Beatrice? I argued with myself. My parents are the ones who's supposed to be dead, not my brother and boyfriend. Now all I have to do is get things back together again. In the meantime, spending time with my ever-sweet-dead-parents.

Everything was going fine, they weren't all abnegation as they were before but who cares? They're free, not having to be grouped into something they don't want to. But they kept sticking with me, I don't even have any time to be alone and think about what I've done. They'd always be with me, talking. It got kind of annoying, and the day hasn't even ended yet! Finally, when it was getting late, mom and dad thought they'd try to sleep again, since in the afterlife they don't have to sleep. So I sneaked off towards Matthew's lab.

"Hey Tris!" I was greeted with a happy Matthew, looking the same as ever behind his desk. "Listen, I need some help," I told him. He looked at me, more serious now. "What is it? Is it because of the meternal? Whatever it is don't you dare tell me you used it to communicate with…." He looked at me and gave a small oh. My facial expression might've said it. "God, Tris. What were you thinking?" he asked. I was on the verge of tears. He sounds so much like Abnegation Caleb. I started to cry uncontrollably and Matthew gave me a hug. I didn't even bother to push him away, I need it anyway. After what felt like hours, I got better control of myself and wiped my face with the handkerchief Matthew gave me. "Now, I want you to tell me what happened, okay?" Matthew asked.

I told him every single detail, about me being stubborn, that it's all my fault. He just listened, he didn't interrupt. It was nice of him to listen to what I've gotten into. But I was afraid he fell asleep. As I finished the last bit of my story with a 'it's all my fault', he looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm sorry Tris," he said kindly. He gave me a look of pity. He must be feeling sorry for Tobias and Caleb to have disappeared or because he doesn't know a way to get them back.


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

When I went to see Matthew, I expected him to help me save them but I don't think that's going to happen. There's only one thing I have to do; cry. I ran straight to the dormitory, holding back tears. As soon as I got into the dormitory, I locked the door and started to cry. It wasn't long before I heard the voice of my parents. They came to me soundlessly, very ghost-like of them.

My mom put her hand through my shoulder instead of on them. I wanted to laugh, but I only let out a strangled cry. "Hey, hey. Beatrice, guess what?" my dad said cheerfully. "What?" I asked glumly, still choking on my sobs. "Guess what day tomorrow is?" he asked. Mom picked up on it very quickly. They both smiled and tried to pull me up. Neither them, nor I, managed to grasp anything but air. The three of us laughed. I didn't remember the last time we spend fun time together, it was probably never.

They walked with me to my bed, the one next to Tobias. Before I could even start to cry, the doors banged. "Whoever's in there, you'd better let me in. Triss! If it's you, open up! I'm so not in the mood for games," Christina shouted, banging on the door. I'd love to just leave her out there but the selfless side of me told me not to. I looked to my mom and dad. They both looked fine. I wonder what Christina will say when she sees them. She is a candor at heart after all. I walked to the door reluctantly and unlocked it. Before it was fully open, I was knocked over, probably a good blow from a too-eager-Christina.

"Hey, I just… oh," Christina said, looking down at me. My butt hurts from the unexpected landing and my head aches after getting banged by the door. It was painful but yet I managed to laugh. Christina joins in, not the genuine laugh. The one that means 'I think you're crazy' type of laugh. I turned my head around and my parents are both laughing, but Christina didn't even glance that way. "Mom, dad. This is Christina," I said, pointing towards Christina. They waved and smiled. But Christina looked at me confused. "Who were you talking to?" Christina asked. "I must have hit you pretty hard on the head," she muttered. "My parents, of course!" I said as a-matter-of-factly. "Can't you see them? They're right there," I said pointing to my parents, but mom and dad were looking amused. "Okay, this is weird. If you're trying to say that those beds are your parents, I'm going to re-hit you in the head, you know, just to like reverse what I did to you earlier. Come over here," she called me over.

Am I the only one who can see them? I have got to go see the doctor, I must be going crazy. "Uh, anyways, where have you been? I haven't seen you lately," I said. I wanted to get rid of the awkwardness. "Oh, yeah. Nor have I, seen you lately I mean," she replied. "You haven't exactly answered my question, you see," I'm starting to get annoyed but I don't even know why. "Yeah, okay. So, I kind of sneaked off to see George to train a bit, get the Dauntless out of me, you know what I'm saying? Well, yeah. We trained when he's free, and when he's not, I just stared at the screens. The ones showing the city. Our city," she said.

How does she go through all of this? Having to watch your family on the screen. It must be hard. "Ehem, so yeah. What have you been doing?" she asked, too eager to get the attention off herself maybe. "I…."

I can't hold back tears, I thought there'd be no more. I started crying again and Christina ran to me. She put her arms around me and began to comfort me. "Shh, it's okay dear. Tell me what happened." I told her the story, still muffled by the sobs but I think she understood. I couldn't quite read her expression. It was, new.

I saw two pairs of transparent hand reaching towards me. I was about to scream but then I remembered, they belong to my parents. I totally forgot that they're here. "I love you," Christina, mom and dad said in unison. "I love you too."

After Christina is asleep, I turned towards my parents. "What was it you wanted to tell me?" I asked curiously. "I asked you what day tomorrow is," my father replied. "Uhm, tomorrow is Sunday, duh. Don't you have like a calendar or something?" I asked. It sounded kind of rude but they laughed. "You're one to talk," my mother replied, still laughing. "Tomorrow is your birthday," my father said. To me, my birthday is nothing special. We've never celebrated it, not even once. "Yeah, well. So? If you think that's going to make me happy, it's not. A for effort dad," I said.

"Come on, Beatrice. Live life while you're at it. You should have fun on your birthday! I don't even know why the Abnegations won't let us celebrate birthdays but it is a special day for everyone. And I know something good will happen tomorrow," my mom said, holding my hand between hers, I think that's what she's trying to do anyway. _Yeah, I hope you're right_, I thought as I fell into a deep, relaxed sleep.

The next morning, I woke up feeling very relaxed. It was a peaceful sleep, no nightmares, no dreams. I should definitely sleep like this more often. Mom and dad were already up, but they are just sitting in bed, staring at the ceiling. It was a bit creepy. Christina was stretching. She saw me and tilted her head to the side. "Why the long face?" she asked. "Nothing, just…" I said and looked back at her. She looks excited. "You look like something exciting is going to happen," I said. "What?" she asked, putting on a straight face. "Can't I be cheerful in the morning?" she asked. "No, that's not normal of you," I said.

"Well, you know what? Whatever. Let's go get breakfast, I'm starving!" she said and bounced out of bed. "You always are," I said. "As a matter of fact, you look like you've gain weight," I teased. "Oh, shut up Tris. At least I'm not a stick," Christina stuck her tongue out. Well, that hurts. "Guess what Chris? Today's kind of my birthday," I said sheepishly. "Uhuh," she replied not even looking at me. That shut me up.

After breakfast, the cafeteria doors burst open revealing a panicked Matthew. I didn't dare ask what's wrong, I just followed him out. His running figure led me and Christina towards his lab. I'm aching to know what's happened but I'm going to find out soon. As I neared the slightly opened the door, I heard scuffling. If this is some sort of trap, happening on my birthday, I'm going to kill him and everyone in the room, if I even make it out alive. Christina went in first and whispered for me to get in. As I opened the door, a shower of colourful and sparkly strings fell down on me, followed by the word 'SURPRISE!' The room was decorated beautifully and there's a two-layered cake in the middle of a table along with the words 'Happy Birthday Tris' written on it. I sure hope it's Dauntless cake. I was touched. I looked around the room and my eyes fell on two persons. A smiling Tobias and Caleb. And next to them is…oh god, I can't believe my eyes. It's Peter.

**P/S: Sorry for the spelling error or my grammar. Oh and if you think this is illogical, let me know.**


	8. Chapter 7

**I'll make this really short. It's great knowing y'all and I really think I should continue this and finish the story which is going to be soon enough. Because I really hate to leave the story hanging. Thanks for the ones who support me! Love you guys! ~Shadeau4**

Chapter 7

Tobias and Caleb. Caleb and Tobias. What the heck is going on? And Peter? The world has gone insane in the brain! _Calm down, Tris. Just, calm down_, I told myself. Eventually, my breathing becomes even. Tears start trickling down my cheeks and I found myself running across the room towards Caleb and Tobias. I knocked them over. I heard 'awwhhss' echoing around the room.

I didn't let go until I confirmed myself they're not going to re-disappear. I forced myself up and pulled them to their feet. Just a few months ago, I wouldn't be able to but now I'm definitely stronger. Tobias wiped the tears from my cheeks. I smiled. "How on Earth are you here?" I asked. They laughed. "Earth, good one," Caleb replied, hitting me lightly on the arm. I raised an eyebrow, not understanding the joke. "Nothing's happened," Caleb said. They're definitely hiding something from me.

"Sorry," I whispered to Tobias. "What for?" he asked. I slapped him hard. He flinched a little. "You're hiding something. And you left me!" I yelled. "Hey, not my fault. Who's the genius who played with the stupid meternal?" he replied. He grinned. "Awh, you miss me don't ya?" he asked, touching my nose. I shook my head, "Stop it," I said. He let his hands fall.

Caleb cleared his throat. "Uhm, maybe I should go. I have to go talk to Matthew," Caleb said. "Uhuh, go get me some cake. Please?" I said and looked at Caleb pleadingly. "Sure, anything for the birthday girl," he said and ruffled my hair. I smoothed my hair back and turned my head to look at Tobias.

He's still looking at me. I gave him a quick kiss and pulled back immediately. He wouldn't have noticed it happen if he weren't paying attention. He cupped my face and I slowly pushed them away. It ached to do that but I have to. Or else he won't feel bad. That was evil of me, but who cares? I'm the princess of the day.

"Nothing really. I don't really know what to say," Tobias admitted. "You sure?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Of course I'm sure!" Tobias said exasperatedly. "Sorry," he muttered.

I nodded. "Okay, nice party you organized," I said. "Oh, it was mostly Christina," he answered, scratching his head. He must've not agreed with the sparkly things. At times, it'd be annoying but this is actually kind of pretty. I admired Christina's sense of taste.

Caleb made his way back to us. "Settled everything?" I heard Caleb whisper to Tobias. It must've not been important. I looked at my parents, who are sitting at the chairs. I waved to them and they waved back. "Who are you waving at?" Tobias and Caleb both asked, curiously. "My parents. Over there," I pointed to where the waving figures of my parents are at.

Caleb and Tobias raised their eyebrows. "What parents?" Tobias asked, coming near me. "MY parents, duh," I said annoyed. "B-but… they're gone. Dead. You saw them yourself, Beatrice," Caleb said. He sounded sad. "They are but they're not. Now, I mean," I said. Caleb looked worriedly at me. "Are you okay? Did you hit your head or something? No offense," Caleb started. "How is that not offensive? And of course I'm okay!" I half-screamed. I pointed to a smirking Peter. "How come you're annoyed he's right next to you?" I asked Tobias. "Who is?"

"Peter!" I said exasperatedly. How come these people don't know what I'm talking about? Christina must've heard the commotion, she hurried to me. "What's wrong?" she asked. She looked at Tobias who's looking at his feet, Caleb who bit his lower lip, to me. "What'd you guys do?" Christina asked, her voice hardening. "Nothing, ask her," Caleb said.

"They're saying my parents and stupid Peter is not here!" I exclaimed. By now, Matthew and some of the rest had their heads turned towards me. I should feel embarrassed but I'm not. Not a tiny bit, I'm just annoyed.

"Tris, sorry to tell you this but they're not here," Christina declared me. I looked at her in shock. My parents are smiling, Peter is smirking. Oh, no. This isn't happening.

Oh, god, the world is spinning. And I could feel myself falling backwards. A pair of strong arms, Tobias' caught me before my fall, which might've broken some bones, since I wasn't prepared for the landing. Everything is spinning fast. I could see Tobias, Caleb, Christina, my parents, Peter, all looking down at me. Worriedness marked their faces. I smiled and looked at them. But there were two Calebs. No, all of them are Tobias. "NO!" I screamed and everything becomes silent as my vision darkens into just plain black. Black as far as the eye can see, the last thing I remembered were 6 Tobias, each of the persons I last saw evolving into him.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

"Beep. Beep." I woke up to the sound of machines. I pushed myself up from the bed. I guess I'm in the infirmary. Tobias dozed off in the chair next to me. "Tobias?" I said, rubbing my eyes. His eyes flew open. "Are you okay?" he asked panic-ly. "Uh, yeah. Why am I here?" I asked.

Tobias hesitated. "Tell me. What's wrong?" I asked, urging him. He scratched his head. He opened his mouth to say something but the door flew open. "Ah, Beatrice Prior. Finally you're up. Do you know why you're here?" a doctor asks. "Uhm, no," I told her.

"Look around. Who do you see?" she said calmly. I looked around the room. My parents are standing next to me, and I could make out Peter's head just outside the door. "Uh, my parents. And Peter's outside," I pointed to the door.

The doctor cleared her throat and whispered something to Tobias. I waited for an answer. Tobias looked at me, wide-eyed. His eyes started to water. "I don't care. I still love her," I heard Tpbias say. "Yes, I know you do, but there's nothing I can do," the doctor mumbled apologetically. "What can't you do?" I interrupted.

The doctor walked over to me and said just one line that makes me widen my eyes in shock. "Miss Prior, I believe you're in a mental state."

**The End! Thank you for whoever's reading this! I really appreciate it. As much as I don't want to end it like this, it did. Sorry! Doesn't match with the title but I'm going to change it sooner or later. Bye!**


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